Why Can't I Beat My Anxiety?

When you read this, you most probably are experiencing high levels of anxiety, making it increasingly difficult for you to cope with certain situations at work, home or social interactions – to say the least.

You will testify that the impact of disruptive anxiety is vast: it affects your personality, interpersonal relationships, your view of your feature and the meaning of your life, and worst of all your health.

Some patients benefit from therapy, while others just cannot “get a grip” on the dreadful onslaught of feelings of panic and anxiety once the anxiety attack occurs, however hard they try to beat their anxiety.

I am especially inclined to give assistance to this “hardcore” type of patient experiencing dilapidating levels of anxiety and panic.

My name is Dr Gerhard Coetzee. I’ve specialized in providing pastoral counselling to persons experiencing disruptive anxiety, also known as “Anxiety Disorders”. I eventually completed my doctoral studies on this subject at the University of Stellenbosch, South Africa.

The Roots of an Anxiety Disorder.

While counselling persons suffering from anxiety disorders, I asked permission from these patients to record our discussions.

Clinically analysing these recordings, some very definite traits started to emerge which were too obvious to ignore.

It became very clear that all these patients weren’t just battling with the fear of social interaction with others, or the fear for certain insects, or overcoming constant worrying.

All these fears, resulting in the slow deconstruction of a more-or-less meaningful life, can be traced back to the Root of their Anxiety.

This Root cannot initially be discovered by merely listening to the fears of the patient.

In fact, most of the time the patients themselves aren’t aware of this Root of their Anxiety.

This Root accounts for the persistence of the anxiety disorder in many patients.

Several therapies addressing the experience of disruptive anxiety have at its core the premises that the reasons the patient is experiencing these feelings of fear cannot be taken seriously.  The treatment plan consequently is designed to reveal the absurdness of the patient’s feelings of fear and anxiety in certain circumstances.

However, if not considering the Root of a patient’s Anxiety, some therapies will only succeed up to a point. And this accounts for the “hardcore” patient showing a persistent resistance to find complete healing from their anxiety disorder.

What are the Roots of disruptive Anxiety?

They are:

  1. The fear of dying or Death itself.

  2. The fear of dark Fate

  3. The fear of the loss of Meaning or Significance.

  4. The fear of Condemnation

These fears are real, valid and not absurd.  And therefor a “valid” therapy must deal with these fears and not try to proof its irrationality.

The lady who was afraid of washing her hair.

A youngish lady (let’s call het “Sandra”) came to see me with a pertinent problem: if she tries to wash her hair bending over the bath tub using the sprayer, she is gripped with an intense anxiety attack. The attack is so forceful, she fears she is going to pass out.

Inquiring into her though processes, the following seems to happen.

· She bends over the bath tub, opening the sprayer to wet her hair.

· She detects a feeling of dizziness.

· She asks herself: am I going to faint if I continue washing my hair?

· If I faint, what will happen if I collapse into the bath tub and the water is spraying over my face?

· With the water running over my face, I will drown and subsequently die.

The Root of Sandra’s anxiety is the Fear of Dying.

Sandra’s fear of dying is the concern that needs to be taken seriously and to be dealt with.

Any therapy trying to reveal to Sandra the total absurdness of her fear to wash her hair will in the long run not succeed.

To help Sandra to deal with her Fear of Dying, she and her therapist needs to “take up” this fear and not belittle it.

The Courage to Deal with the Roots of Anxiety.

When someone visits me with dilapidating anxiety, I will first of all determine his or her Roots of Anxiety.

Once we together have established this Root, the next phase of therapy will be to assist the patient to “take upon” herself the fear for the Root of her Anxiety.

To “take upon” yourself such a fear, you need to find the Courage to deal with your Root of Anxiety.

To find the Courage to deal with fear, I introduce my patients to my unique “Is Like” therapy model.

My “Is Like” therapy significantly helps the patient to deal with her anxieties up to the point where she can experience healing from disruptive anxiety.

Next week I will explain this therapy and how it will help you.